Dealing With an Alcoholic: How To Cope

As much as you love the person with the drinking problem and as upsetting as it can be to watch them struggle with their addiction, there’s only so much you can do. You can’t monitor their behavior around the clock, make all their decisions for them, or allow their problems to take over your life. You are not your loved one’s therapist or AA mentor, so don’t try to take on those responsibilities.

Encourage your partner to seek professional help for alcohol addiction treatment if necessary

Enabling can also mean doing things for an addict that they are plenty capable of doing themselves. Part of recovery and sobriety is learning how to be self-sufficient, a skill that will never be refined if someone continues taking on an addict’s responsibilities. Often they struggle with depression or anxiety and drink as a way to self-medicate. It is important to acknowledge that you think there may be an underlying mental health issue that results in drinking. Try not to sound accusatory, especially if the person may not know they suffer from depression or anxiety.

How to Deal with an Alcoholic Spouse

These joint activities can help create a positive, alcohol-free environment while strengthening your relationship. She’s also currently working on her dissertation, which explores intersections of disability studies and literacy studies. When she’s not researching or writing, Cherney enjoys getting outdoors as much as possible. When living with someone how to overcome alcoholism who has AUD, it’s important to understand that you didn’t cause the addiction. It’s also important to ask your loved one directly what you can do to help, especially during special events where alcohol may be served. Talk therapy (or play therapy for younger children) can also help you all work through the challenges AUD can present to a household.

Can You Force Someone to Go to Rehab?

While you may not be able to stop them from drinking, you can change yourself and your behavior toward the situation. If your spouse is functionally alcoholic, you’ll find yourself dealing with up and down moments mentally, emotionally, financially, and socially. The issues you’ll face may be immediate (stress, domestic violence) or long-term (impact on your children’s health). So, it is important to assess the problem to know whether you should seek help for them or remove yourself from the situation. If an alcoholic refuses to get help, the last thing you should do is make it easier for them to drink and indirectly support their behavior and choices. When helping an alcoholic stop drinking, making them feel shame or lowering their self-esteem will do no good in a situation such as this.

What should I do if I want to talk to my husband about his drinking?

This means that someone may not change until they `hit their bottom’. There is a saying in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous that a person does not have to get off the elevator on the ground floor. For some, the bottom may be loss of finances;  for others, it may be a spiritual emptiness;  and yet for others, it could be jail or psychiatric institutions.

• Residential treatment or “rehab” facilities provide intensive treatment for alcohol abuse or addiction.
• Alcohol lowers sperm quality, and this study found that women were 18% less likely to become pregnant if they had up to 14 drinks weekly.
• Try not to allow your loved one’s behavior to dictate your own health and happiness.
• To avoid burnout, set clear limits on what you’re able to do.
• Try to commit to at least two days each week when you won’t drink at all.

The three basic steps of urge surfing:

When dealing with someone who potentially has AUD, it is important not to blame them. It is also essential to remember that this is something they cannot control. It can be challenging to provide the appropriate help and support without the right knowledge.

Living with an Alcoholic Spouse

• They may be able to provide guidance on the best ways to approach someone with AUD.
• While it’s natural to want to help someone you care about, playing the role of a fixer can negatively impact multiple aspects of your life.
• Gather resources from doctors, counselors, inpatient alcohol rehab, and outpatient centers.
• You can also participate in a program that’s designed for the friends and family members of alcoholics, such as Al-Anon.
• They are always excited about events or gatherings that involve alcohol.
• However, this doesn’t mean you can’t implement and enforce healthy personal boundaries.

Try to formulate statements that are positive and supportive. These strategies can create a supportive environment that motivates your husband on his journey toward reducing alcohol consumption. It’s also important to address your family’s own needs at this time. Make sure your children are eating a healthy diet and getting adequate exercise and sleep. If a parent has AUD, a child may experience excessive stress because they don’t know what mood their parent will be in from day to day.

Impact Of Drinking On Relationships

It’s a serious problem that can lead to social and physical problems. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice.